the only card i will ever send
Go on, tell them I ate your homework. They’ll never believe you.
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
person annoying you?
refill their bladder
reblogging here for that tag. always be wary of people who don’t respect your space. always.
Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this GIF?
Bless you internet.
Bless you spiderman
bless your butt
bless u spideybutt
hot doctor game too strong
my throat is sore maybe ur dick could soothe it
god damn it supernatural
that’s how I wanna go
Okay but if you read the article he wasn’t stabbed
he literally walked into the blade thinking it was a toy and not that it was a replica actual sword
HE LITERALLY WALKED INTO MY SWORD OFFICER
"And he just walked right into the point. I don’t know if he thought it was a toy."
and a bit later in the article, this gem:
"The ex-husband was taken to hospital following the altercation, but not before he, in true Zelda fashion, smashed a pot (a flower pot, over the head of Thompson)."
IM SORRY MY MENSTRUATION HAS ANNOYED YOU ILL TRY AND KEEP IT BOTTLED UP NEXT TIME
and pour it on him while he sleeps
The Every Occasion Card
Have a shitty motherfucking baby
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE
THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”
AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT
AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH
AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE
someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this
Ajax the Greater waited godamned 5000 years to get that recognition.